Meritocracy

Meritocracy: a system in which the talented are chosen and moved ahead on the basis of their achievement.

I used to believe that the developed world enjoyed the condition of meritocracy.
I used to believe that my home country was one of the places were anyone could get anything if s/he knew the right people.
I used to believe that the rest of the world was a better place to live.

Lately, I realised that PR is a common practice anywhere in this world of appearances.
The myth of meritocracy collapsed right in front of me.
My belief in justice and all these bourgeois illusions was obscured by the bourgeois establishment itself...

My faith in me was torn into pieces:
What if the system is meritocratic?
What if I don't deserve to be chosen?
What if the whole bourgeois establishment is right and I am wrong?

I have no answers. I don't want to look for any answers.

I don't want the objective kind of truth; I don't believe in such things.
I need my intimate and close friends to come and share with me the fragments of my existence.

Then I may be able to understand where I stand in this spectacular world... or perhaps outside this spectacular world (I would like to think).

I am not angry
I am only dissapointed and disgusted